it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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