ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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