All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
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There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
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