I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize