Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
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