Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize