Your mouth is God's brothel.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
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Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
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when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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