He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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