Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize