Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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