Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
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