I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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