Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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