i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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