He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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