I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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