I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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