i may or may not be watching the land before time
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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