i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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