Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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