What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I smell like Dick and happiness
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