Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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