I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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