I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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