if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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