Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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