I accidentally had phone sex last night
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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