you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
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