Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize