Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize