i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
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