Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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