I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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