When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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