never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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