Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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