he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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