she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
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How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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