I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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