When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize