This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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