You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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