I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
we made out on top of his cat.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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