Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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