Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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