Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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