You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize