I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize