Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
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I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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