We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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