I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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