the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
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I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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