found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
do herpes really smell.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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